since i last posted some random meanderings on the good old tumblr. I have hardly any followers on here i doubt anyone reads these. I honestly hope no one does, but i dont know where else to write. I want to run to the highest mountain and scream for hours right now. I feel like my life has just been spinning out of control. and the worst part of all of it is that it happens right when i think i’m about to get a grip. I’ve been doing my best to count my blessings and stop counting my losses. I guess it makes for an easier solution, and far less time consuming. I just feel like all i’m doing is trying trying trying and coming up short or unnoticed. I feel happy one minute and alone the next. and through all this back and forth I’m trying to keep my head above water and my spark of motivation alive. I know one day this will all be worth it, and I will look back and laugh and know i’ve gone through this for all the right reasons. I know that i have one thing in my life i am completely sure of. one thing i can say works when everything else is broken. one person i can rely on. one person that loves me. and thats all that matters. I just pray that this shadow gives up soon, for if darkness were to seperate me from that one thing, i would never want to see the sun again. This means i know the meaning of holding onto something and believing in it, and not letting go no matter what. and for that …i am grateful.